Shey's Closet

Walking on the Ancient Paths

2010-02-21T16:50:00.000-08:00

I have 10 minutes to give the world my current status... Yeah I'm still married, I didn't get divorced or anything. What I meant was the state of my heart, mind, soul, and spirit.

My hubby and I went to an Ancient Paths 1 Seminar last weekend. The seminar didn't offer quick fixes to our marital problems. But it did show us the root of where all the hurt was coming from and why we were not "enjoying" the "breakthroughs" we always professed that we had. It also didn't change our current situation, but it did change how we perceived the situation, as if the rose colored glasses were removed and we had lasik eye surgery.

We can see clearly now. Not with our own eyes, our own understanding of how things happen, but with God's eyes. I just hope that this isn't one of those instances when we have a natural high after a spiritual encounter. I am optimistic that by God's grace we will now walk victorious.

We will be attending the AP2 on March 12 and 13, a surefire treat from the Lord after a week of so many things to do for the Voyager week. Hopefully, if I have more time tonight I'll be able to share more of our amazing weekend.

Our gratitude to all who sponsored our "honeymoon" indeed you have sowed so much in our lives and may the Lord prosper you.

Putting My Mind at Ease

2010-02-14T02:21:00.000-08:00

I said I was faithfully going to blog everyday as a hobby, outlet for thoughts and other pent up feelings. But I went back on my own word when a recent trip to Luzon made it, not exactly impossible for me to blog, but somewhat difficult. The activities were scheduled to close to each other that there was no pocket of time to go to an internet shop. I wasn't even able to write on my journal.

That week revealed a part of me that I thought had long been put to rest. I used to tell my students that pressure and stress brings out the best and worst in people. And I was no exception. Lack of sleep and the demands of the students during the tour made me morph into the person I used to be. I realized that all these years, since I left Manila and gone to Mindanao, that persona had been pushed to the back of my closet. Because of the laid back and conservative culture in the south, it was an outspoken rule that who I really was isn't acceptable in the community. In short I had been repressing the real me.

Change happen differently for people. For some its instantaneous, for me its a longer process. 3 years of repression didn't help. Friends, though well meaning, "forced" me to just ignore and not deal with my struggles. It was like "if you don't talk about it, it doesn't exist." Look at the repercussions now. They keep coming back.

(This brings to mind the religious group that took so much from me (financially/materially) but only made me doubt my spiritual identity. Thank God, we left before greater damage was inflicted. That association did create a big damage with my personal relationships. )

No use dwelling in unpleasant thoughts. I can't change the past and mulling over it won't make a difference. One counselor I had spoken to the past week told me to learn from the past, live in the present, and hope for the future.

Rapha's Birthday

2010-01-28T08:58:00.000-08:00

We celebrated Rapha's 1st Birthday at the La Azotea, Central Philippine University, in Iloilo City yesterday, Jan 28. Through the efforts of my sister we had a wonderful party. There were only 5 children among the guests. most of them were Geline's friends who really loved Rapha and my students in my Tourism Class and the Faculty of the College of Hospitality Management.

They did a great job in cooking our simple menu of Spaghetti, Valenciana (Filipino Paella), Leche Flan, Bread Sticks, Cake and orange juice.

We celebrated his birthday early because I am going to leave for a tour today (January 29.)

Sunday Leisure

2010-01-23T21:57:00.000-08:00

Rapha, my youngest son, who is about to turn a year old next Sunday, January 31, contracted a mild cold that made me decide not to attend the 2nd service with the rest of the family. I opted to stay at home and take care of him. He's only experienced havin a common cold twice in his lifetime and not one had bothered him that much. He just gets restless when his head isn't elevated when lying down. It was pretty tough last night when he keeps waking up every hour.

We spent most of the morning watching the Dinagyang Festival, the cultural festival for Iloilo City. It wasn't as grand as the others in the previous years. Perhaps we have finally felt the brunt of the recession. Instead of a strong tribe dancing to the beat of the drums, there was an apparent decrease in the number of dancers which made me think that they participated just for the sake of. As a matter of fact Kasadyahan (the merrymaking dance drama competition on the eve of Dinagyang) had its "last dance" yesterday and never again will it be included in future Dinagyang Festivals. The economy is that bad, I guess.

Matt, my eldest son, and I finally put the Volcano together. I gave him this Volcano Making Kit last Christmas and we never had the time to make it. It took 24 hours to let the plaster dry and we painted it with the paints that went with the kit. Once the pictures have been developed, I'll try to post some online. We made the volcano "erupt" using baking soda and vinegar. It was a good bonding moment. The science stuff can be interesting.

I still haven't thought of any topic in particular to write for the whole year. I've been mulling over it since last night. I have no hobby now and the only thing I find interesting in my life is how my career has been unfolding and how i try to juggle family life with work. Pretty tough, but I'm surviving pretty well. I should think some more and maybe i'll do it while I have my nails done.
;p

Inspiration. Thanks Julie Powell

2010-01-23T05:12:00.000-08:00

Julie and Julia a movie worth watching. In so many ways it inspired me to continue on doing the things that I had begun and never finished.

One of them would be blogging. Like the others I have started in different blogsites, I wonder if this one would survive... Its 2010. Maybe Julie Powell would be more than enough inspiration for me to carry on with the chronicle of my life.

I'm always on a journey to self discovery. With so many experiences in life, I often wonder if I have really found myself, or have fully understood my identity. Too late in life to have an identity, don't you think? But really, I think I'm going through one.

Well, for those who have the patience to follow through with this project... I wish I could be like Julie Powell. Have the courage and tenacity to finish what I had begun.

As I had been putting as a disclaimer in my other writings, I'm no professional writer, I am an amateur. I attempted to write but had failed. Perhaps I had attempted so many things.

With so many of those attempts I only wish this one would see itself accomplished... up to what point I don't know.

Feel free to join me in this journey.

Reading Material

2009-06-11T08:51:00.001-07:00

Finally! I was able to get hold of Steven Schultz "The Restoration of the Modern Day Prophet" and Bill Hamon's Prophets and Personal Prophecies...

Huwow!

Videography

2009-06-11T08:40:00.000-07:00

It has to be second nature to me...

It is something that I love... so I must go and do it...

This is what I am meant to be... a filmmaker... a visionary...

This is who I am...

Making a switch from Final Cut Pro 5.0 to Adobe Premiere

2009-05-19T00:12:00.000-07:00

When I started using Final Cut Pro in 2006 as my editing platform I told myself that I will do my best not to switch to Adobe Premiere ever simply because everybody's using it already. But 2 years later, I might have to take back what I said for the very reason that more people are using Premiere than FCP.

Back to Normal... Almost

2009-05-09T08:57:00.000-07:00

Our crazy late night reality drama at home has abated, which is an absolute relief. Matthew is finally settled (and accepted) with sleeping in Mama's room. It had been a difficult month dealing with his separation anxiety. Crying and endless good nights and guilt trips had been a part of our bedtime routine.

Rapha, on the other hand, has developed a sleep/wake pattern. He has learned to differentiate day from night. During the day he wouldn't sleep on the bed and would protest until he is put in his "abuy-abuy" (Ilonggo hammock). At night he is able to sleep for 6-8 hours, only waking up around 3-4AM for his feeding.

He also has several mile stones now that he's 3 months and 1 week old. He's starting to roll from back to front by swinging his leg over the other. But he is yet to learn to remove his arm from underneath his body so he could be on his stomach. He's quite a social butterfly now. I take him to school every Friday and everybody at Lola Mama's office adore him. He would flash a "gummy" grin at everyone he meets.

Before I Hit the Sack

2009-05-06T09:40:00.000-07:00

I went back to article writing to get my schedule back in order... What's the connection? Basically having to work with a deadline motivates me to fix my daily schedule. The downside of working at your own time and pace is having the tendency to procrastinate and that's exactly what I had been doing.

I can anticipate the reaction of other people when they see how loaded my schedule is with "freelance" work but I love having this kind of routine. Perhaps it is because I have been so used to a fast paced life in Manila that I thrive best with having things to do.

Oh well, I'm rambling... haha... its taps for me. Good Night!

Playtime with Dad

2009-04-30T21:29:00.000-07:00

Babies and Classical Music

2009-04-27T17:38:00.000-07:00

sicRapha woke up at 6AM today. Thank God he went back to his usual routine of sleeping through the night. Well not exactly 8 hours straight, he woke up once at 3AM but it wasn't as long as the previous nights when we broke the Babywise routine. Now that we're back to the sleeping program, Rapha is in a better disposition.

His schedule begins with his first feeding for the day. Afterwards I would allow him to play for about an hour just to get the milk settled in his tummy before I give him a bath.

Taking a bath is his favorite activity of the day. He would splash around in the water and I would allow him 5 minutes to play. Today I played classical music during his bath.

Studies have shown that classical music helps in the spatial temporal reasoning. This is called the Mozart Effect. It calms him and maybe later on in life he would learn to appreciate this genre. While it helps in the development of neurons in the brain, it cannot make him smarter. It has a temporary effect on brain functions that make listeners have better mental performance.

Genes determine Rapha's intellectual competence, but I strongly believe that what we introduce to the child early in life may have a lasting effect, may it be music, books, food, and habits. While genetics have so much to do with the total person, his environtment has a strong contribution as well.

Overcoming Personal Discouragement

2009-04-26T06:04:00.000-07:00

A friend, Farida Kabayao, invited us to visit the church their family was regularly attending at Quezon St., Iloilo City. The pastors were a couple from Singapore who had the burden to do ministry here in the Philippines. They have been here for 22 years.

Pastor Tony, their head or senior pastor, delivered a wonderful message about dealing with personal discouragement. The Scripture text he used for reference was Psalm 42 which David wrote when he was at the point of being despondent perhaps because of the persecution he got from Saul.

He shared that to get out of your personal discouragement:

1. Replenish your Spiritual life.

The Holy Spirit will satisfy us especially now that life isn't getting better. Which is the truth, no matter how much material things we own, life is just getting worse. God said the same to Elijah, the journey ahead is too great and we need to rely on the strength that the Holy Spirit would give us.

2. We need the touch of God.

Let us cry out to God to touch us. This is actually a natural volition because people tend to remember God when they are at their lowest.

3. Go back to the source.

Our source is Jesus Christ. He is the living water that will quench our thirst when we are all dried up. Some believers fail to recognize that by virtue of their salvation in Jesus they hold in their hands the greatest source of power the world cannot have.

*STOP LOOKING AT YOURSELF AND START LOOKING AT GOD.

The onset of discouragement is oftentimes characterized by the presence of too many personal pronouns in our speech. We get into despondency because we rely on our own intelligence. Unfairness is part of life. That is something we have to accept.

1. Self pity will dilute the good you have been doing.

Downtimes in our lives are just circumstances where God wants us to realize our need for Him. He wants us to meditate and contemplate on who He is. God doesn't just reveal Himself in power but He also reveals Himself in the quietness of your heart. So instead of going into self pity God wants you to listen and wait in Him.

2. You have to operate in the anointing of God.

At the lowest points of our lives, God gives special anointing and this is to reveal to us His message.

*MEDITATE ON GOD'S GOODNESS

1. God's promises to care.

2. God's promises to be faithful.

3. God's promise to be with us in the mountain and in the valley.

Babies' Day Out and Pizza Binge

2009-04-25T07:14:00.000-07:00

My boys and I went malling this afternoon. The day had been extremely hot and Rapha was getting very cranky. The moment we got to SM City Iloilo the little one settled down and in about 30mins fell asleep while her tita was pushing his stroller around the mall.

Matt got his haircut and he looked really spiffy. I treated him to a plate of pizza at Greenwhich. The Cheesy Overload was absolutely divine. Okay John Lloyd I love you already.

Rapha at 3 Months

2009-04-23T03:19:00.001-07:00

Rapha will be turning 3 months old end of April and everyone is amazed at his growth progress. He's grown bigger... and I mean all baby fat and cuddly. He's got these plump cheeks that we couldn't resist pinching. He's as big as an average 5 month old baby.

He's supposed to start cooing, gurgling, and attempting to talk back at 3 months. But he surprised all of us when he started doing that at 2 and a half. I noticed this when we had our "one way" conversations -- me talking to him and him staring blankly at me -- suddenly though he started to make gurgling responses as if he understood what I was saying. Wow! Now he's undstoppable he constantly tries to get our attention by cooing.

We also have to be very careful when he joins us in the TV room because he has learned to watch TV! There was one time during his regular feedings that I noticed his eyes were riveted towards the TV. So now we make sure that his back is towards it.

Welcome to my Closet

2009-04-23T01:27:00.001-07:00

Every home has a room, every room has a closet...

And this is my closet...

My closet is where I can be myself where I can ponder and mull on things.